A short animal story for the two girls who love ALLLLL animals (And other people):
THE LIZARD THAT SNEEZES SALT
A LETTER FOR YOU:
Hello! My name is Chuckwalla. But you can call me Chuck.
I live in the arid desert regions of the southwestern United States. Where do you live?
If you came across me in the desert, you might jump and say, “Ugh!” Or worse, “YIKES,” Or, “What an Ugly creature!”
But wait! I have so many astonishing abilities; wait until I tell you about ME!
But first, here’s a picture of me.
* Am I cute or what???
In case you can’t tell, we Chuckwallas are large lizards,
What do we eat?
We eat desert plants that are (YUMM!) loaded with salt.
What? You heard eating too much salt was bad for you?
Well guess what? My diet would kill most animals!
But not ME! Nooo, not this lizard!
You will either think this is cool, or gross but check this out: I come equipped with special glands in my nostrils that removes salt from my bloodstream.
When my cool lizardy glands have filled up with salt, I sneeze!
Watch out! Don’t stand too close when I sneeze because I shoot crystallized salt out my NOSE!!!
Oh, I forgot to mention, I’m a Christian Chuckwalla and just like you love all animals, I love God.
So you’ll understand when I give credit to my Creator.
Because, wait! This is even more cool about ME!
My Creator has also given me the ability to change the color of my skin. Isn’t that the niftiest!
Of course, other lizards and sea creatures are able to do this to hide from predators. But….
We chuckwallas change color for a different reason!
Not to hide from predators! Oh know! They don’t bother Chuck, I’m tough and baggy!
I change colors to survive in desert regions that are freezing cold at night and blazing hot during the day. Whoa! Bet you humans can’t do that!
How you ask? Hee, hee, okay. Here’s ole Chuck’s secret: my skin is dark in color in the morning to quickly absorb the warming rays of the sun. Ahhh! I love the sun!!!
Then, later in the day, my skin becomes much lighter to reflect the desert heat.
How cool is that?
Okay, let me get back to the predator thingie.
My skin also very loose and baggy. Ha, ha! I bet your jealous of that!
Here’s why baggy skin is so terrific for ME. When a predator approaches, your friend, Chuck, squeezes himself into a rocky crevice. Nah, Nah, Boo, Boo! Come and get me you Loser Predator.
Ole Chuck, is smart! What I do is swallow lots of air! Huff, Puff, Huff, Puff! I blow myself up like a balloon! A balloon that’s wedged so tightly in the rock, the Loser Predator can’t pull ME out. It’s great to be ME!
Now, I ask you – has your opinion of me changed? I’m pretty cool, huh?
But please don’t try to take me home. I’m much too fond of the desert. And the other Chuckwallas would miss me. Oh, look, there goes Chloe! She is cute too! Hey, I gotta run. “Hey Chloe wait up”
Anyway, Papa Gnome promised me a Snickerdoodle with extra extra salt for me to give to her and next time I write it might be Mr. and Mrs. Chloe and Chuck Walla – with a little help from that little Old Gnome-Match-Maker.
Write me back! We don’t get much mail here in the desert!
Bye for now.
* A creature with so many astonishing abilities, it speaks loud and clear about God’s hand in creation! How can mindless, purposeless evolution account for a creature with so many extraordinary abilities… and good taste! – The Author
Another Papa Gnome Story:
“The Three Bears -Revisited”
By Louis R Sauer
Copy Right August 2016
“Once Upon a Time,” Papa Gnome began, “There were 3 (three) bears, and after the famous encounter with a human girl named Goldilocks, they moved to Montana and opened a Hotel and Restaurant just outside the West Gate to Yellowstone National Park.
Everyone tries to see bears at the park and over and over the park rangers warn visitors to stay at least 100 yards away. Don’t feed them! Carry Bear Spray and…”
Papa Gnome was interrupted by Zeke Goodly, “Papa Gnome, That’s not how the story goes!”
“But you already know the story but heart, Zeke,” he replied. “Maybe I had better explain”
The dozen plus gnome children and the horde of Munchkins who were gathered for story time settled down. They knew this was going to be good!
“Okay, is there anyone here who doesn’t know about the too hot, too cold, just right oatmeal? No? I thought as much. Or the three chairs? Too high, too low, just right? Hmmm. Or the beds? Too hard, too soft and so forth? So, here’s the point children…”
“But didn’t the girl break the chair and bed and eat the oatmeal and run away?” asked Code Blue while munching on a Oblivious Beef Jerky stick.
“Ha, Ha, Yes indeed my little Munchkin. She was actually terrified!”
Well, to revisit our story, after this experience of interacting with humans…:
“What are humans again?” interrupted Zeke.
“Now you children all remember what I told you about these strange creatures! They are a little bit like the best parts of most of us. Much Bigger than me but not as big as Papaloopa. They live in another realm of MA called America. At least the ones I am talking about do, but it’s still mixes fantasy and what they erroneously call ‘reality’. Now just don’t confuse me with any more facts.”
“Okay,” came the replied from all the children.
“As I was saying,” the Gnome Story-Teller continued, “The bears learned much from their experience with the human girl. So they decided to put it too good use by opening a hotel and restaurant. It was very successful! They had some beds that were hard for those wanting firm mattresses, some made of feathers that you would sink into up to your nose and smaller beds just right sized for children that the kids loved!
The chairs in the restaurant? Some were Big, and some were very Low and others ‘Just Right’. Same with the meals they served.
The bears published the story called “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” and it was a best seller. They used the money to buy the property and pay off the mortgage.”
“Whee,” giggled Chloe, who is from another story. When everyone looked her way, her skin turned pink.
“No, Not Whee, Chloe,” continued Papa Gnome. “You see, Goldilocks was so stressed over her view of the encounter that she had nightmares and had to take human classes from these two sisters.* The Class was called “We love all animals and you can too!”
In these classes Goldilocks became quite the Naturalist. She went from City Girl to Outdoors Girl. In fact, she became such a nature lover that she wanted to live outdoors, eat berries and drink from only natural streams. The only problem was, she had ‘Bear-phobia’. When she finished school, she was referred to the Brown Wizard, Radigast, also a naturalist. He had no cure for Bear-phobia but he had an idea. He called it, “Face your Fears 101”.
“How would that work?” asked little Lucy Lumley.
“Well, Lucy,” said the gnome after a deep draw from his pipe, “He had her apply for a job as a Park Ranger in Yellowstone.”
“My greatest fear is, what if I wasn’t baggy any more,” said a quiet voice reflectively.
“Don’t worry, Chuck,” answered Chloe, “I like you just the way you are. You’ll always be my little Baggy-Waggy.” Which caused the other Chuckwalla to now turn a bright pink.
“Ahem!” said Papa Gnome loudly. “As I was saying! So Goldi became a Park Ranger. She gave demonstrations and made presentations and was very happy being one of the Old Faithful Ranger guides.
Very rarely did she see a bear, There were elk, lots of them. She liked their antlers and the way they could leap! Sometimes a scary coyote came around that she would shoo away. Her favorite was the Prairie Dogs. All was hunky-dory for Goldilocks.”
“What’s honky-duty?” asked Code Blue who had now finished his Oblivious Jerky and was a bit dizzy.
“It means, all was good. Everything was fine. That is until…”
“Oh no!” said Zeke and Lucy at the same time. Clearly they had been paying the most attention to the story.
“Yes, Oh No! indeed!” smiled the Story-Teller. “One day in the Lodge Gift Shop and Bookstore she noticed a copy of the book, “Goldilocks and The Three Bears”.
She was furious!
Not only did it make her look bad, but it used her real name! And the thing that really pushed her buttons was, clearly the bears published it and made all he money. And she got none!
A Park Ranger’s salary is comparable to that of a ‘Starving Artist’. Which, since she was an ‘Interpretive Ranger’, not a policeman type Ranger, she didn’t really mind. That is until now!”
“What did she do, PapaGnome?” asked a Munchkin with copper hair and long eyelashes.
“Well, she shouted, “I’ll sue! I’ll sue the bums!”
“Her anger was so great that immediately after her shift was over, she drove into town and parked right in front of the Three Bears!” (The hotel)
In she stomped!
“Show me the bears!” she shouted! Where are those three bears! NOW!!!”
A waiter carrying a tray of dishes crashed into a very short gnome (guess who?) and the tray and dishes went everywhere.
“Can I help you?” said a tall black bear as two younger bears looked on.
“You published MY story and you got it ALL wrong!” she screamed.
“Calm down Lady. I’m Mama Bear and this is our place. You don’t want me to call Papa Bear,” replied with much dignity. Then added, “Say you look kind of familiar. Have we met?”
“You bet we have! You scared me so bad as a child I’m traumatized for life!”
“Oh my! You are not…?”
“Yes, I am! I’m Goldilocks!”
“Well, here, I have something for you.”
“A Gift?” said Goldi, the effect of which calmed her and almost brought a tear to her eye. “Really? This is for me?”
“Yes, we use all our profits to help the homeless, bears and people. We are so sorry you were scared as a child and ran away. We assumed you were an orphan. This is our way of making up for it.”
“No, I wasn’t. I have a wonderful family but I was being a brat that day and should not have worried my parents and…. Oh my! I just realized! I’m as much to blame as…”
“Well, we were pretty scary too I guess,” said Mama Bear as they both sat down at a booth to talk it out reasonably. “Not me or Jr. so much, but my husband, Papa Bear. He is still pretty scary.”
This is when Papaloopa ‘happened’ to make an appearance. “Hello Goldilocks,” he said. “Have you noticed that you are not afraid of bears any longer?”
“Wait a minute! Did you set this up?”
“Maybe. Just a little bit.”
That’s when a huge paw tapped me on the shoulder.
I felt behind me.
Ah oh! “That is a Very BIG Bear Nose, isn’t it?”
That’s when I looked in the mirror across the room and saw…
Being a Wizard, I quickly recovered….
Anyway, PapaBear was only fierce for a moment because I tweaked his nose.
All was forgiven.
Goldilocks was cured of her fear of bears and became the Best Park Ranger EVER.
The Three Bears Hotel and Restaurant is still there at West Yellowstone. They are famous for their pancakes with honey to this very day.
Lastly, how would you like to see a picture of Goldilocks in her Park Ranger uniform?
She still carries bear spray on her belt, but thanks to Radagast and Papaloopa and a little Wizard field work, the Three Bears story now has a happier ending!
Papa Bear is still scaring tourists.
He can’t help himself.
But then, everyone gets a gift and a free Ice tea, so it’s all good.
Very, Very Short Story as told by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to Papaloopa
“Sherlock Holmes Goes Camping”
By Louis R Sauer
Copy Right August 2016
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson went on a camping trip. After sharing a good meal, they retired to their tent for the night. At about 3 a.m., Holmes nudged Watson and said, “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”
Holmes asked, “And what does that tell you?”
Watson replied, “Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes retorted, “Someone stole our tent.”
“Laugh!. Don’t make me EAT YOU!”
Another Papa Gnome Story About:
“The Ents and The Old Forest”
By Louis R Sauer
Copy Right August 2016
Good Afternoon, Dear Readers, Papa Gnome here again. I hope you liked the first Ent story, The First ENT Awakens.
This second story introduces us to ‘Tree Beard’ and brings what will in later ages be called ‘The Old Forest’, to life.
In our last story we learned that the Replacement Wizard, Papaloopla, in his inexperience and in sheer wonder at the physical world woke the first Ent.
Anthropologists and Historians may debate the Ent wakening as accident or fate, or Valor’s Will but Papaloopa was still too innocent to even question the “accident”. He was just glad not to be alone in Middle Earth.
The Wizard put his hands on his hips and spoke in a commanding voice, “Well? Speak up!”
“Don’t ….be….. so…. hasty,” said the tree. Although it took over a minute to complete the drawn out sentence.
“Hasty?” said the Wizard, “Did you just say ‘hasty’?”
“I…. did,” replied the tree. “I ….have…. waited…since… the… dawn… of… creation… for… you… to… awaken… me…….. I… think… you… can… wait… a…. few… minutes… for… me… to… shiver… my… timbers… and… shake… my… booty.”
Soon the Tree had formed a face and reached down and raised up the Wizard. They looked eye-to-eye for the first time.
“If you don’t mind me saying so,” replied the Wizard with aplomb, considering that he was now a hundred feet above the ground in a tree’s branchy palm, “You seem to have a rather grouchy look on your face.”
“Do… I…now…? …………….. HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM”
The tree hummed for so long that Papaloopa thought his recording might be stuck.
When the hum ended, Papaloopa said, “Perhaps its best if I do most of the talking. Can you blink? Blink once for ‘yes’ and twice for ‘no’.
It took nearly as long to blink, thought the Wizard, but he finally got one blink and no follow up.
As the sun was beginning to set, on the first day of the First Ent, a friendship between Ent and Wizard was born that would last for eternity.
“Now, the first order of business, I should give you a name. How about Fred? Freddy? No, it should be a tree name, ah, I know Oak! Hello Mr. Oak!”
Two blinks came rather more quickly that time.
“Maple, Mabel? NO, you are definitely not a Mabel. Umm, Pine, Sycamore? Wait, I know, Red Wood! You are a Giant Sequoia! I’ll call you ‘Red’.”
“No… I …will…choose… my… name.”
Papaloopa began to pace nervously. If this was his first mission, his first wizard test, he was losing control. As he began to stroke his beard he stopped dead in his tracks- he had not realized he had a beard! The physical world was so full of wonders he thought and then he literally broke into a little ‘happy feet’ dance in the Big Tree’s palm.
“What… are… you…doing?”
“I’m feeling joyful, I guess!” and now he combed this bushy redish-brown bread with his fingers and realized it extended to his chest.
“What… is… that?”
“Why, I’m not sure. Wait, I think it’s called a beard.!”
“No beard. Look, you have all this green moss on your face too, did you know that?”
“I… do? HHHHHMMMMMM… Yes, I…. DO!”
“None of these other tree have anything close, not even faces come to think of it, you are a Bearded Tree!”
And that was how Tree Beard was named, his choice, and is to this day.
Once named, Tree Beard found he could talk and walk much better and the two went around from tree to tree. Tree Beard did the tree hugging and Papaloopa did the speaking, commanding each awaking tree to awaken and reply.
Dear Reader, I cannot tell you how many days or weeks or years or centuries it took to awaken the entire Old Forest because this was a time before our time or keeping of time in minutes and hours and years. It went on for many miles of hills and valleys and ended by a river or a spring that feed into a lake with water as crystal clear and sparkling as a polished diamond. The last row of Giant Sequoia’s ended and were replaced by smallish white barked trees with lovely violet and carnation pink flowers on their branches.
The sun was setting and the Ents bowed the boughs in prayer to the Creator (who at that time was called Valar, but we know Him now by his true Name above all Names). Papaloopa laid with his back resting on Tree Beard and closed his eyes.
Whether it was the gentle muffled snoring sounds of the Old Forest or the burbling of the spring and the breeze among the flowers closing for the evening, Papaloopa fell into a deep sleep and dreamed a thousand dreams.
Dreams of Adventures he would one day have, people and Middle Earth characters he would on day meet, places beyond imagination he would one-day experience. He would not recall the details upon waking, but the impressions would never abandon him.
Sometime during that long night, something else happened.
Something wonderful and beautiful!
Something that would get Papaloopa in a lot of trouble!
Next Ent Story – Ent Wives
(Yawn, later Folks)
“Me Ma-ha. Ma-ha-ha-ha me bring pretty lady to Wizard in Chapter Three. Me get him in BIG trouble (HA,HAH , HA!)
Chuck’s Zoo Page
Chuckwall’s are not just lovable, cuddly creatures with six pack abs and Movie Star looks, they are also known throughout the lizard world as poets and satirists. Chuck Walla would like to share some of the humor he and Chloe Walla use to pass the time while be ogled by tourists, school groups and other gawkers. Here is the repartee between Chuck and Chloe.
“Hi. I’m Chuck. Knock-Knock?”
“Rats!, Er, I mean, Right! No wait, my jokes get better!
What did the Zookeeper say to his wife said they were having venison of dinner?”
“My turn. Chuck, is it true you used to be a banker?”
“Yes, but I lost interest.”
“Giggle, that’s why I think you are so adorable, Chuckie!”
“Don’t call me that. Hey Chloe, did you hear about the cartoonist that was found knocked out and his cartoons stolen?”
“No, what did the police say?”
“Not sure. They said details were sketchy”
“Carver will like that one! Got one about Papaloopa?”
“I heard that when he first met the ENTs he started off clean shaven.”
“Really? I thought all Wizards had beards!”
“He said, “At first I didn’t like my beard. Then it grew on me.”
“Okay, I got one…”
“Okay, I’m ready…”
“Did you know that England has no kidney bank?”
“No Chloe, I didn’t!”
“But it does have a Liverpool.”
“Ha, ha, that’s a good one. Hey Chloe, do you see that kid over there playing with his iPod instead of watching us?
“I’m calling it Titanic”.
“Cuz… wait for it… It’s syncing now.”
“Hee, hee! You crack me up!”
“And that dude in the hoodie and dark glasses..”
“Reminds me of those haunted French pancakes they fed us this morning!”
“Yeah, gives me the crêpes.”
“Well at least it’s a nice sunny day. I’m glad the fog blew out this morning, aren’t you?”
“It was so thick, I tried to catch some fog.”
“Yeah, but I mist.”
“I saw that you volunteered to give blood.”
I tried. They told me I had Type-A Blood. But it is was a Typo.”
“Any more medical jokes?”
“Well, I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid.”
“But he says he can stop anytime.”
“I should have seen that coming. At least it wasn’t a joke about German sausage.”
“Cuz those are the wurst!”
“Why is that little girl laughing? Is she a vegetarian?”
“I don’t know I never met herbivore.”
….to be continued if you like these
Chuck at the Zoo
“Hi. I’m Chuck.
No one wrote me back.
So I went to the Zoo.
I was so sad and lonely
That I turned Blue.
A blue Chuckwalla?
Oh that wouldn’t Do!
I tried doing Math
I even added two plus Two.
But even on granite
I was still Blue.
So I asked Chloe
Chloe, what should I Do?
She said go to the St. Louis Zoo!
Go to St. Louis? I’ll hitch
A ride with Wiz Papaloo!
Yes, that will fix my color
Then I’ll no longer be Blue.
So when the Wiz was not looking
I slipped in his Shoe.
And got packed in the car
And I was off, Yahoo!
The drive was so long
If only we had flew!
I smelled of Toe-Cheeze
And my tongue was like goo.
But at last we arrived
At the St. Louis Zoo.
We saw polar bears
Monkeys and even a Gan-u.
Finally we arrived at the Snakes
I looked for a case without any Glue.
Ah, there it is!
So I climbed out of his shoe.
How he had not noticed
I haven’t a Clue.
But Wizards are odd and
I got out when he sneezed, Ah Choo!
The rocks were brown as the desert
It worked, I turned brown and not Blue!
So unless you write me
In care of the St. Louis Zoo.
Here I must stay on my rock
And avoid turning Blue.
Please write because Chloe
Misses me too!
“He’s a poet and don’t know it” – The Author
Submitted by Lucky the Leprechaun
Roses are Red
Shamrocks are Green
Wolfbane is the Potion
To make dementors Unscream.
So if you see a dementor,
A Soul sucker Ringwaith
Bring lots of Wolfbane
And then you’ll be safe.
Lucky the Leprechaun says: “DON’T LEAVE HOME WITH OUT it!”
“I know what happened to the ENT Wives. I’m sorry, I said to TreeBeard. It’s all my doing”. (Sniff)
… as later quoted as a confession (in confidence) to Bungo Baggins on visiting the Shire and seeing the 3 month old infant Bilbo. (Belladonna was visiting her sister Hildebrand and only the males heard the confession)
Bilbo Baggins was born on September 22 by Shire Reckoning (on Carvers Birthday on September 7th of our calendar), aka in the year 2890 of the Third Age. He was the only son of Bungo Baggins and Belladonna Took. Bilbo was part Took and part Chubb on his mother’s side.
Belladonna Bio to follow:
Belladonna Took was the “remarkable” ninth child of Gerontius “The Old” Took and Adamanta Chubb. Belladonna had eight older siblings: Isengrim III, Hildigard, Isumbras IV, Hildigrim, Isembold, Hildifons, Isembard, and Hildibrand; and three younger siblings: Donnamira, Mirabella, and Isengar. Though she was technically the second daughter of Gerontius and Adamanta, she was the eldest of the three that survived to adulthood.
Belladonna Took married Bungo Baggins, becoming “Mrs. Bungo Baggins,” and together they financed the construction of the Shire‘s most luxurious and comfortable Hobbit-hole, Bag End. In TA 2890, Belladonna became the loving mother of Bilbo Baggins, her only son and child. She was also well known to the wizard Gandalf. She died in TA 2934, eight years after her husband, leaving Bilbo the master of Bag End.
What hasn’t yet been told is the story of her visit with Gandolf before Bilbo’s birth and the Took adventure he sent her on that resulted in the falling out between the Took family and Bungo and later Bachelor Bilbo, which of course resulted in nasty property claims regarding Bag End. (See Story: “Who Took the “Old” Took?” – A Childhood Story Of The Brave Example Set By Biblo’s Brave Mother”
Part III of the Papa Gnome Story About:
“The Ents and The Old Forest”
The Ent Wives.
By Louis R Sauer
Copy Right August 28 2016
”Don’t make me eat you! Respect the Story teller!”
“Well, Dear Readers, you knew it had to happen! Papaloopa was so new at being a Wizard, he can hardly be blamed. But the story you are about to hear and the trouble it caused for future generations can’t be underestimated. Papa Gnome here again. I hope you liked the First story, The First ENT Awakens. and second, The Old Forest. This Third Ent is about the Ent Wives. Enjoy.
The second story introduced us to ‘Tree Beard’ and brought to life the entire ‘The Old Forest’. And I told you that sometime during that long night, something else happened.
Something wonderful and beautiful! BUT FIRST>>>>>
“Papaloopa, you are in a lot of trouble!” said Tree Beard.
“I’m so sorry Tree Beard. I know where the ENT Wives went, I’m to blame, it’s my fault!”
“How did we get here? How did this happen? You used to be our friend! The Wizard who was the Friend of the Trees and the awaker of the Old Forest.”
“I still am!”
“What happened and what shall we do about it then?” said Tree Beard with 100 more Ents looking on.
“It started with a dream I had. At least I thought it was a dream.”
HMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm!” hummed Tree Beard.
“We were all sleeping, you were too. I dreamed of the wonders of this world and had visions for people and places and adventures and future events…”
“In other words, typical Wizard stuff?”
“I’m not sure, I have not been a Wizard for all that long. But as I was waking, I saw a movement, a Nymph or a Spirit of a kind or type, I’m not sure about the words to use, but it or she, was beautiful. No, definitely a she. And she was semi-transparent, and her garments were soft and silky and flowing as she moved. It was a dance of sorts I think. She was running and leaping and she radiated Joy.”
Tree Beard’s shaggy massive green mossy eyebrows arched upward, but he did not interrupt.
“It, no she, definitely a she, she passed before my eyes several times in my dream, if I was dreaming, that is…”
There was a long pause.
“Then, she moved among the birch trees.”
“These birch trees? The ones by the river’s edge?”
“Yes! Yes, that is what she did. And as she did so, the white, slender birches seemed to respond, as if…”
“Wait, we are starting to remember…”
“Are you Tree Beard? Do you remember now?”
“It happened in a dream. My dream. I think it was a dream, unless you remember it too,” spoke Papaloopa.
“The Ent Wives?”
“Yes, my friend! Yes!”
“She came over to me and lifted my chin in her soft mist-like hand and whispered, “We must awaken these too. You are the ‘Awakening Wizard’. I rose to my feet and followed her.”
“To the birches? Those lovely birch trees!” sighed Tree Beard.
“And I did awaken them. It was wonderful!”
“In my dream. Ahhh,” said the Ent, “There was a wedding. Did that happen?”
“Yes! I still don’t know if it was real or a dream, but it must be real if you are starting to remember it as well. Time seemed to stand still, centuries may have passed or it was all in one night’s dream, only Valar knows.”
“We married. We had wives! We celebrated and Valar used this to teach us about ‘love’. Our wives danced and we clapped and sang mighty songs,” Tree Beard’s wrinkled face cracked a big smile.
“Oh Tree Beard, it’s all my fault. It wasn’t the ENT’s fault. You knew that Oaks come from acorns. Sequoias after their own kind. Birches after their own kind. Your marriage was for companionship. But I am not a tree.”
“No, you definitely are not!”
“I wanted to join in your Joy and in my inexperience, forgot that Wizards do not marry. I gave my heart to the Nymph and asked her to marry me.”
“I am sorry for you, my friend, because I now begin to dimly remember…”
“She agreed and you, Tree Beard, were to be my Best Man. Er, Best Tree. “
“As the young Birch Wives waved their branches from the river bank and the Old Forest Hmmed in harmony, the Sky above exploded in Thunder and Lightning!”
“It struck Barrak Bark! I remember! He turned a darker bark and…” Tree Beard trembled.
“And The Voice! The audible Voice of Valar – so terrible and beautiful at the same time.”
“The birches, the ENT Wives were sent away. Transported. Valar said they were, because of my wrong example, about to leave their estate and so He placed them in another place and Time.”*
“My Nymph bride-to- be would become a Dryad, a Tree Spirit herself. And in His tender mercy, he allowed the ENTs to enter into forgetfulness. And so you have dreamed away a millennium.”
“Have we? HMMMMMmmmmm. Time is of so little importance to an ENT. Will we never see them again? Please, can you not undo your error and bring them back to us?”
“Perhaps some future day. But if you had Wives, you would not go to war when the time is called for you to do so, said Valor to me.”
“War? That is a strange idea. I do not understand it and I think I do not want to.”
“All in good time. But for now, my Old Friend, it is within my power to help you forget. And to rest until such time as you will be awakened by a Halfling. You may have a vague memory of the ENT Wives, but not this story.”
“I am very tired. Papaloopa, will you excuse me? I need a little shut eye. I trust we will awaken again when we may be needed.”
“Rest now my Friend. Sleep and Peace be with you,.” spoke the Wizard softly with a tear in his eye and touch of his Sequoia Staff to Tree Beard’s massive ground roots.
Tree beard’s last mumbled words were, “Hafling? I wonder what kind of tree that is…”
*Neither the Wizard nor the ENTS were given the name of the other place. But you know it as Narnia.
Anyone who has pets will really like this. We lost our dog ‘Buddy about a year ago and still miss him.. this is based on a true story, I heard, about a dog named Lucky.
You’ll like it even if you aren’t “a dog person”. You may decide you need one.
Mary and her husband Jim had a dog, Lucky. Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably someone would forget and something would come up missing. Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.
By a crick in the cricket
Saved from the Cliffs of Insanity
By a slow swimming brown Manatee
“Oh thank you through and through
For saving me,” said Bloo Bloo
Submitted by Chuck E. Walla
The Search for
|New Story Title|
By Louis R. Sauer
Second Original Story of New Year
Editor Carver Louis Means
Copyright January 2017
“Finding Him Was Easier That Killing Him”
As told to the Author by the Wizard Papaloopa
Prelude: It all began with an adventurous boy we have met before. His father was one of the richest men in the world, Harry Hornblower.
“Enter this door,” warned the Wizard Papaloopa and I can’t vouch for your safety.”
Laddie looked crestfallen. Harry pushed back his muddy pith helmet, “We came to see Kong. If he really exists…”
And then Laddie awoke from his dream…
“Papaloopa is coming!” he shouted! “Oh Boy! This is going to be the best adventure yet!”
Chapter One: A Boy Addicted to Adventure
It all began a previous morning one month earlier.
“Dad, you are doing it again!”
“Huh? What’s that son?” mumbled Harry Hornblower as his eyes scanned multiple open screens on his Triple Ipads. Then looking up and grabbing a last sip of Green Tea, “Sorry, I was just reading about the Chinese Island thing. Seems CNN wants to blame it on your Uncle. Fox News and World Mag have linked the North Koreans but haven’t a clue as to what really happened. Then there’s this Blog with over 10,000 followers called Imaginary Creature Authority that tells a story, but no one will believe them except their own readers.”
“Dad, you are getting caught up in business again. I hardly even see you except at breakfast and at bed time. And here you are! Dad, you are obsessive about business!”
“Hmmm,” replied his father with a smile, “Is that anything like a certain boy I know who is addicted to Adventure?”
“Glad you brought it up, Dad. I’ve been reading about…”
“Whoa! Hold on there Son! I’m in the final stages of the biggest breakthrough in solar energy. It could make the entire planet self-sufficient. Please don’t tell me we have to go to Iceland or Atlantis again.”
“Even better! I want to search for King Kong!”
“Ha, ha, ha! For a minute there you had me worried. Reading Maxx Comics again?”
“No, I’m serious. It exists! There’s this mysterious island, see. And it won’t show up on Goggle Earth. Which is impossible. How do you explain that?”
“Well, it could be an electro-magnetic anomaly. That could fool a satellite passing over it. Or it could be magic…”
“We have seen magic before, Dad, and this isn’t it. But an electro-magnetic field? Hmmm. Yeah! Like an EMP that is constant, not a one time shock wave? Yeah! That could account for a Giant Ape.”
“Laddie, I hardly think it would create a 60 foot tall gorilla. But listen, son, I was going to tell you that I have to be away for the next couple of weeks as we test the solar-prototype before we outfit the ‘Tessie’. Wait, and don’t ask, I signed a non-disclosure.”
“Hold on to your ‘new adventure’ mania a bit longer. Then we’ll see about a little vacation, how does that sound?”
“Two conditions. You have to video conference me before bed time every night.”
“And, if I get something solid, you’ll partner up with me. Our vacation will be a “Search for King Kong!”
“Ha, ha, ha. Alright Laddie. That might actually work for my field test. No, don’t ask. You and I can sail around looking for your mysterious island. Agreed.”